Monday, December 31, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

Your Final News-o-Rama

Posted: 31 Dec 2007 01:44 PM CST

...of 2007. This next year will be a very interesting one for Browns fans, and for your friends at the OBR. We're going to be going in some new directions as 2008 begins.

FROM THE NEWSWIRE (rss)

It's over. More suddenly than we wanted.

I'll miss the feeling of anticipation before kickoff, the buzz of fans tailgating in the Muni, the unexpected thrill of seeing Braylon Edwards or Josh Cribbs breaking into the clear and racing to the end zone. I'll miss the the first day of training camp. The cold snap of gameday mornings.

I'll miss that until next Fall.

While we wait for the Cleveland sports "personalities" to find the next gravy-train to leave the station, there are over five dozen stories on the planet's only 24-hour Cleveland Browns newswire. The print media finished out the season with one last explosion of content.

Sigh. It was a lot to wade through, and re-living last night's experience of watching helplessly while the team was pushed out of the playoffs wasn't a lot of fun.

I think the thing for it is to spend the evening quaffing a non-trivial number of adult beverages and developing the level of incoherence required of people who share our horrific fates: out of the playoffs and one year further away from our birthdates. Booze is the word.

Here are some of the highlights of the newswire, categorized for easy consumption:

Yes, Virginia, We're Out of the Playoffs
DDN  Official Site  Plain Dealer  Columbus Dispatch  Canton Rep  Chronicle-Telegram  Tribune-Chronicle

The World's Not Fair. So Very Sad.
Terry Pluto  ABJ  Chronicle-Telegram 

Cheer Up, It was a Decent Season
TheOBR  Daily-Record  Chillicothe Gazette  Canton Rep 

Quarterbacks, quarterbacks, quarterbacks
The OBR  Tribune-Chronicle  ABJ  Toledo Blade  Morning Journal  Chronicle-Telegram  Canton Rep

 

OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE

The blogosphere feel pretty much like you would expect fans to... it was a good year, sucks that we're out of the playoffs, Tony Dungy sucks.

A Whole Lotta Congrats & One MAJOR Bitch - John Taylor

Double digit demise - Ace Davis

It Only Hurts When I Smile - Vinny and the Hornless Rhino

Hey Tony ... - Ace Davis

Pink Slip-o-Rama - OBR News-o-Rama

Browns Win, Still No Playoffs - Cleveland Sports Perspective

The Year That Could Have Been - Cleveland Sports Animal

Top 10 Cleveland/Ohio Sports Moments of 2007 - Don and Tony

Browns Season Ends With Optimism - MVN

We Didn't Qualify? This Is Such Bullsh… Hey, Someone Left A Sock On The Ground! - KSK

SMACKDOWN OF THE DAY

Excellent play by the Indianapolis Colts was unfortunately in short supply last night, but this smackdown of a Titans kick returner is at least some small comfort. I found via blogsite First and Ten Inches. Nice.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

Pink Slip-o-Rama

Posted: 30 Dec 2007 11:50 AM CST

Would you like a career in the exciting, fast-paced world of professional football? Sure, we all would!

It's a job that doesn't require a fancy degree or well-polished resume, but it does require the ability to endure public humiliation when you inevitably stumble.

The NFL Rich Owner's Club is full of folks whose long-term memories are surgically removed via high-tech lasers as soon as they obtain (or inherit) their clubs. If there's one thing they love to do, it's hire. And fire. And hire. And fire. And hire, hire, hire, and fire, fire, fire.

This week is firin' week. The last Sunday of football hasn't even kicked off, and the bloodletting has already begun.

The list of the doomed is growing longer by the hour and now appears to include the following:

  • Mike Martz, Detroit Lions offensive coordinator, looks to be out in Detroit, with the attendant humiliation. The one-time head coach of Greatest Show on Turf will now be replaced by a guy named "Kippy".
  • San Francisco head coach Mike Nolan, whose team is now stretching in front of me on the field at Cleveland Browns Stadium, will probably have to dump his entire offensive coaching staff and replace Alex Smith with a QB who doesn't suck in order to keep his job.
  • Jason Kline, Mansfield News-Journal columnist, will likely be hounded out of any future sports coverage opportunities to having the unmitigated gall to mention the OBR in his column today. Fool! 
  • The Tuna is calling the shots down in Miami, which means that everyone is now allowed to poke fun at Cam Cameron and they don't have to return his phone calls. The only way he could get less respect now is to become a blogger or, worse, the chunky niche publisher of an independent pro football web site.  
  • Rich McKay: Doomed. Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed. Doomed. Totally doomed.

More tales of doom and public humliation to arrive shortly.

12/29 Non-News-o-Rama

Posted: 29 Dec 2007 03:06 PM CST

So, within the next 36 hours, we find out if the Patriots will go undefeated, if the Browns can go 10-6, and if they make it into the playoffs. Too bad the NFL season peters out so early for us Browns fans. A mere 17 weeks. Meh.

That's exciting, but the stories which you can find on the planet's only hand-selected 24-hour newswire can't really match up. There's some good stuff there, and it's my task to help you find it. So I will.

Here's the stuff I enjoyed digging out of a Saturday newswire:

Robaire Smith has cure for Allenitis (ABJ)
Larry Allen is not the sort of fellow you want to spend your Sunday sparring with. He's the type of guy you would like in different time zone from whichever one you're in. You want him far away. As far as possible. Oddly, though, Robaire Smith is fighting for the chance to practice and play against the "legalized killer" in a meaningless game. Which tells you what you need to know about Robaire Smith. He's either very determined or completely brain-addled. Based on my knowledge of professional football players, I'm guessing it's a bit of both.

Banged, bruised and just maybe bound for playoffs (Morning Journal)
Antwan Peek is in sort of a different camp. Normally, he would be pushing to play in this game, but with a possible playoff berth looming, it may make sense for him to sit out. Like Smith, he wants to be on the field Sunday.

Unbeaten Browns (Canton Repository)
Another great Browns team, the 14-0 1948 Browns, are largely forgotten because the game was named "Championship" and not "Super Bowl". Only the NFL discards it's history so mindlessly. And Steve Belichick was right.

Lewis is in team's plan for 2008, source says (Plain Dealer)
A non-story, frankly. The question isn't whether the Browns "intend to bring" the running back to Cleveland, but whether he will be affordable. As I confidently predicted in a column I'll never discuss again when it's wrong, whether or not Lewis returns will be based on price and length of contract, which will be based on what other insane NFL clubs decide to do. Hope of a hometown discount began evaporating when Lewis began deferring to his agent, which John Taylor reported a week-and-a-half ago.

Click here to bask in the constant stream of news provided only by the sickeningly thorough newswire rss feed. We've acquired a number of imitators since 1999, but none of them have a newswire like ours. We're pretty much obsessed with updating the thing. It's sort of sad and pathetic, really.

 

OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE: The key item, which reverberated around the blogosphere like a nova... no, a supernova... no... a superdupernova... was the return of the infamous Dawghouse blog. MikeB and Ace Davis were the first two Browns bloggers on the internets, starting waaaaay back when. It's good to have MikeB back in da house.

Week 17 - Dawghouse Blog

Week 17 Predictions - WhatzGonnaHappen

December 28, 2007 Show - Moohead Radio

An anniversary ignored? - Mark Leonard

Future Forecast Of The Browns - Cleveland Sports Authority

A Few Guys You'll Need To Know - First and Ten Inches

An agonizing wait - Red Right 88

Browns … Once a Dynasty - Browns Gab

Worst of sports media: The runners up - Sports Media Watch


PROFESSIONAL SPORTSCASTING AT ITS FINEST

Thank you, ESPN, for giving us the wonderous gift that is Emmitt Smith. This guy is as bad as me on the OBR Radio program, and I don't get paid. I would propose to Emmitt that we split his money and both mangle the English language with aplomb. The past-tense of aplomb is aplombed. Or aplew. Or aplewed.

Friday, December 28, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

PFFFT Goes the World

Posted: 27 Dec 2007 06:42 PM CST

The world you once knew is gone.

We woke up today to a world gone indisputably insane, where our notions of right, wrong, fact and fiction have been turned upside-down. It is up to each of us to determine how to protect ourselves and our families in this new and completely-bonkers world.

You may ask yourself how one can survive in a world where our immutable physical laws no longer apply, and I honestly can't tell you. Fiction is now truth. Truth is now fiction.

I have to assume that fire no longer burns and that gravity is likely to be switched off any minute.

You see, when I woke up today, I noticed that a number of mainstream media types now apparently take Pro Football Talk seriously. They report on their stories with a straight face, as if PFT posts were something other than the deranged fever dreams of some guy in West Virginia.

You may remember Pro Football Talk from earlier this year, when they and Tony Rizzo insisted that Kellen Winslow would not play at all in 2007. Or, you may remember them from 2005, when they spent a year telling us that Randy Lerner was ready to sell the Browns. Or when they told us of fractures and problems with Phil Savage and Romeo Crennel's relationship. Or when they said Terry Bradshaw died in a car crash. Or, perhaps, when they said Ebenezer Ekuban was damaged goods right before he played a nice long season for the Cleveland Browns.

Yep. Those guys.

Earlier in the week, we got to see WKNR's Tony Rizzo, who is sort of PFT's local outlet, tell visitors that Bill Parcells - who hadn't even started his job on the Dolphins - was all a-twitter over the prospect of landing Derek Anderson. Now, PFT itself is saying that Parcells is in love with Romeo Crennel and has him at the top of his head coaching candidate list.

Parcells is apparently so in love with RAC, in fact, that one might think that the very top selection in the 2008 draft may be the Browns for the taking.

If Parcells is seriously interested in this, Phil Savage should knock both Anderson and Crennel unconscious (try a a light blow to their heads or chloroform), stuff them in the trunk of his car, and dump them on Parcells doorstep in the next 24 hours.

Work out the details later. Just dump them on Parcells door, take the first draft pick, and get out of there before Tuna sobers up.

Then again, of course, there's always the possibility that this is as accurate as the K2 story (which the OBR took the lead in nuking). I don't think the Dolphins know what to order for food after their game with the Bengals on Sunday, much less that they're going to do in two months.

Honestly, I'm not sure where this stuff comes from. My guess is that it's speculation that somehow mutated into fact in the murky world of unnamed sources and unverified assertions. But I don't regard it as credible. Call me back when there's a byline on it like "Grossi", "Schudel", "Greetham", "Adkins", or "Taylor".

Frankly, I don't blame PFT or Rizzo for running this stuff. It undoubtedly helps ratings and generates a lot of page views on the ol' web site. And they'll never get called on it. 


MSM seeming to take PFT seriously (chuckle)
Plain Dealer  Morning Journal  Yahoo!  Canton Rep  Tribune-Chronicle

The Colts will play backups quite a bit. Deal.
News-Herald  ABJ

Will Brady Quinn play? Well, uh, maybe, or maybe not.
Plain Dealer  Dispatch  ABJ  Chronicle-Telegram  Tribune-Chronicle  DDN


FUN WITH THE NATIONAL MEDIA: It's always a fascinating exercise to see what guys sitting in Bristol, LA, or whatever think of the Cleveland Browns. Here's the latest keen insight:

Here's the first "Derek Anderson might be overrated" story to appear in the national media. Cool! They're only three months behind some of the fans in the Watercooler. (Fox Sports)

Greg Garber reaches the conclusion that Derek Anderson exceeded expectations this season. You just can't buy that type of analysis. Oh wait... yes, you can. My bad. (ESPN)

CBS Sports looks at all the offensive rookies this year, and concludes that Joe Thomas just doesn't rate. Browns fans look at CBS Sports and conclude... (CBS Sports)


ROSTER MOVES: As Fred Greetham reported yesterday, the Browns promoted Melila Purcell from the practice squad, snagged Bobby Hamilton to help give them more old guys on the defensive line, and filled the gap in the practice squad with an ex-Patriot named Zach West. They also signed third quarterback and pseudo-coach Ken Dorsey to a three-year contract extension.

Of course, you probably know all that by now, so I look at this as simply a way to tell you that we've updated the roster page, practice squad page, and depth chart. We've also uploaded the Media Notes for the Browns-Niners game if you're interested in those.


OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE

This 'N That - John Taylor

So Who Should Be in the Next Hall of Fame Class?  - Kid Cleveland

December 26, 2007 Show - Moohead Radio (podcast)

8 Things that Won't Happen in 2008 - Webdork

Titans at Colts Preview - Mistake by the Lake

The Q&A About DA - First and 10 Inches

Jensen Lewis Loves 'A Christmas Story' Too - Cleveland Sports Authority (Indians)

Cavs Have to Do Something - Cleveland Sports Perspective (Cavs)

Overstepping their bounds. - Sports Media Watch (Greed-Off 2007)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

8 Things that Won't Happen in 2008

Posted: 26 Dec 2007 04:15 PM CST

I wanted to take a break from the usual news-o-rama recap, and pound out this column that has been curdling along with the egg nog and Irish Whiskey in my brain.

Predictions are always a dicey game, and I'm a natural coward. So, instead of predicting what will happen, I'm going to predict what I think won't happen in 2008. Don't worry, it's not all doom and pessimism - sometimes the trades or moves that aren't made are the best ones.

1. The Browns will not get a top five pick for Derek Anderson

He's simply not worth it, and any NFL GM worth a tenth of his salary will be able to watch Anderson on tape to see this. Anderson has been helped immeasurably by Pro Bowl talent in front of him on the offensive line and running amok in opposing defensive backfields. The Browns quarterback has been a very pleasant surprise, but is inconsistent enough to dissuade other NFL teams from mortgaging their future to get him. There's an outside possibility that an NFL exec will look at Anderson and see another Brett Favre, but I doubt it.

There is nothing to rumors that the Dolphins are considering getting rid of their top pick for Anderson. That organization is beyond confused at this point and has no idea what they want to order for lunch, much less what they'll do with their top pick in the draft. Draft selections start spiking in hype and importance the second the season ends, and Parcells is too canny to settle on setting a value on the draft's top pick in December.


2. Rob Chudzinski will not leave to be an NFL head coach

As impressive as the young offensive coordinator has been, he's under a three-year contract and can continue to solidify his reputation while working with some impressive talent. Openings in places like Atlanta are certain death for a young head coach, and there's a sense that Chudzinski himself realizes that he could benefit from a few more years of seasoning before stepping up to the next rung. He has little to lose by staying as OC of the quickly rising Browns and waiting for the right opportunity to open up.

 

3. The Browns will not descend back into pre-2007 levels of ineptitude

This might seem a slam dunk, but the Browns will face a number of challenges in 2008 that they avoided this season. Romeo Crennel's crew really had a long-overdue fortunate year in 2007. The team managed to stay away from crippling injuries - think about how the season would have gone if Joe Thomas or Braylon Edwards had been hurt - and benefited from a fourth-place schedule and games against the weak NFC West.

Next season, the injury luck is unlikely to be as good, and the Browns will face a sterner schedule.

At the same time, the team's good fortune is not strictly to credit for their rise. GM Phil Savage has improved the level of talent up and down the team's roster, to the point where other NFL clubs are keeping an eye on who the Browns release and raiding their practice squad. Improved talent evaluation has been the key difference since 2005, and Savage's plan is slightly ahead of schedule. I look for the team to make significant moves in their defensive front seven during the off-season. Depth and strength in the trenches will prevent the team from stepping significantly backwards in 2008, even if circumstances stop them from improving significantly on their 2007 W-L record.


4. The Browns will not obtain DT Albert Haynesworth

Grabbing Haynesworth would not only immediately bolster the Browns front seven, but it would also cripple another AFC team which is on the rise. But it won't happen.

Titans head coach Jeff Fisher hasn't survived as long as he has while working for goofball owner Bud Adams by letting quality players slip away. Haynesworth will be franchised or re-signed, and will not escape Nashville.

In addition, there are legitimate questions about Hayneworth's fit on the Browns. He doesn't seem a nice fit with the type of straight-arrow player that Savage prefers, and there are open questions about how he would perform with a nice long-term contract in hand. Even on the off-chance Haynesworth becomes available, there's a question about how hard the Browns would charge in pursuit.

 

5. Browns offerings on TV and Radio will not significantly improve

The flaccid state of mainstream media (MSM) offerings can be seen in the two different types of programming which has emerged. The first type of programs are largely team-controlled offerings on venues like WTAM and Cleveland Indians-owned Sports Time Ohio, where business deals between the club and media outlets create bland and uninspired programming utilizing team employees or employees of their flagships. As an alternative, there are relatively independent programs on outlets like FSN Ohio and WKNR, which, like their "official" counterparts, remain uncluttered of any real value. As long as these MSM outlets either climb into the team's pockets or recycle the same-old personalities and programming that has been boring us for the last fifteen years, don't expect any worthwhile change.

What does it say about the state of Cleveland sports programming that the lead sportstalk host on the team's "flagship" station cannot provide any worthwhile insight that isn't spawned by his slavish worship of the Lerner family? Or that the lead sportstalker on the city's independent sports station has now apparently become the local outlet for the laughably unreliable ProFootballTalk.com? Browns fans have become used to weak programming, bogus rumors, and dull repetition, and I don't foresee any real change. Fortunately, the fans are blessed with solid print coverage of the team from pros like Jeff Schudel, Tony Grossi, Steve Doerschuck and others.


6. Jamal Lewis won't quickly sign a one-year contract with the Browns

Don't believe everything you read regarding future financial decisions of athletes. Or much of it, frankly. While Jamal Lewis is undoubtedly happy with how his bounce-back season has gone, it would be foolish for him to quickly agree to a reasonably-sized one-year deal with the Browns. Lewis will receive the right advice for his career and will test the free agent market.

Lewis will only return for a one-year deal if he doesn't get something better around the league. This is an outside possibility, giving the availability of Michael Turner and a relatively deep draft class. In addition, teams have seen a lot of success without spending a great deal at the running back position, and the market may be somewhat down. If that turns out to be the case, Lewis is a possibility to return. Lewis' agent, however, would be foolish to allow him to sign a short-term deal without seeing if any other NFL club is willing to give him a nice four-year contract.


7. Neither cable or NFL owners will back down on the NFL Network

Even today, as the NFL announced public availability of the Patriots-Giants game, the league's Greed-Off 2007 rhetoric retained its usual level of finger-pointing and hot air. Here are highlights of the press release I received less than an hour ago.

Roger Goodell: "What we have seen for the past year is a very strong consumer demand for NFL Network... Our commitment to the NFL Network is stronger than ever."

NFL Network CEO Steve Bornstein: "NFL Network is a programming service of great interest to fans and should be broadly distributed by the cable industry. The only channel devoted 24/7 to America's favorite sport is not programming that should be relegated to a poorly promoted, pay-extra sports tier that takes advantage of our fans' passion for the NFL. A few of the biggest cable operators have refused to negotiate. We call on them to do what's right for their consumers and negotiate agreements for NFL Network that make sense for everybody."   

Basically, the NFL wants cable networks (and subscribers, ultimately) to pay for their creation of a multi-billion team-controlled pseudo-media outlet. The NFL is not exactly struggling financially, and the owners are a stubborn and self-important bunch, so they'll certainly wait it out. They still believe that fans can be manipulated into demanding the NFL Network and that a PR battle will tip the scales. They may be right, and I don't see them backing off, even as it begins to expose the limitations of even the NFL's power.

Welcome to Greed-Off 2008.

8. Like all authors of prediction columns, I will slink away quietly when I'm wrong

The great thing about tossing out bogus rumors and faulty predictions, it appears, is that you're rarely called on it later. The best thing to do in these situations is to simply quietly slink away and wait for people to forget about them. If this column does bad enough, I might even try to figure out how to delete it, a la ESPN, or simply hope that no one remembers it, which is nearly a guarantee with my writing.

So, if you never hear of this column again, it will mean that I was right about being wrong. If you hear about it again, it will mean that I was right about being right.

It's a no-lose proposition. Best. Column. Ever. Merry Christmas to me!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

News-o-Rama: X-Mas Edition

Posted: 25 Dec 2007 02:28 PM CST

BROWNS NEWS VIA THE OBR NEWSWIRE (rss)

Pausing a moment from the materialistic excess of this holiday, let us all take a moment to reflect on the needs of the poor and the less fortunate. Such as Dolphins fans. Or those receiving karmic comeuppance, like Ratfan.

Mostly, though, today is a reminder that we should always think of our fellow man and try to walk a mile in his shoes.

For example, consider the plight of newswire fiend John Taylor, who cared enough about his fellow man to pause his celebratory holiday drinking to slam a couple dozen links onto the wire.

Or perhaps, consider the strange and twisted world of Bengalfan, who isn't reading about Derek Anderson's generosity and charity, and instead is being fed lies about how great the Bengals secondary played last Sunday. Life sure is weird on the other end of I-71. Ponder that for a moment, will you?

You could also consider the plight of those in impoverished lands, like Buffalo, where they dream of the glorious riches of possible-yet-unlikely playoff spots.

Perhaps you can examine the odd and bizarre customs of faraway lands like Indianapolis, where next Sunday (mutter) figures to be a day of rest (mutter, mutter).

Maybe you could even ponder the plight of the hopeless frazzled webdork, who forgot to post the Gameballs and Goats voting yesterday and now has to try to get that done by Wednesday morning. Or not. That guy's a screw-up.

You can find many more morality tales of this type on today's newswire.

 

OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE

These folks clearly have no life. Who in the world would lame enough to be blogging on Chri...

These people are the dedicated fans in the world. Who else but the most awesome sports fans would blog on a holiday like today. You people rock.

Why Quinn Will Be THE GUY - Mike from Rochester

The season for giving - Mark Leonard

News-o-Rama: 12/24 - Webdork

December 24, 2007 Show - Moohead (podcast)

Born and Raised on the Cleveland Browns: Week 16 - Mistake by the Lake

The Browns Through History …. By Decades - Browns Gab

Don't Believe The Hype - Cleveland Sports Authority (Cavs)

Monday, December 24, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

News-o-Rama: 12/24

Posted: 24 Dec 2007 05:22 PM CST

The holidays have totally screwed up my normally productive schedule of cranking out the Mighty OBR News-o-Rama.

Under regular circumstances, my daily cycle is fairly predictable:

1. Sleep. Wake. Fall back asleep. Wake. Fall back asleep. Wake again when children begin their annoying demands for food or transportation.

2. Various acts of violence involving navigation from bedroom to bathroom.

3. (Unspeakable)

4. Return from bathroom, navigate way to car. Transport off-spring.

5. Return to OBR World Headquarters. Surf. Write News-o-Rama.

6. Contemplate life as a Cleveland sports fan and webdork. Curl up in fetal position and begin the day's weeping. Ingest any needed biological or petrochemical products. Go to (1).

It's all very reliable and, at the very least, produces a series of words placed more or less into a logical order sometime before lunch and made available to those who desire to read them. That means you, Mom.

The holiday season, however, screws up this clear order of things. There are unnatural demands to travel to places, spend money, visit friends and relatives, and otherwise feign social grace and jocularity. It messes everything up, or at least pushes the news-o-rama into a less reliable schedule of delivery.

So, the news-o-rama is late today. It may not even arrive tomorrow, which is some sort of religious holiday. It is up to all of us to deal with this hardship in our own particular way. I choose hard liquor.


FROM THE OBR NEWSWIRE (rss): Another item which might encourage one to ingest hard liquor is the result of the Browns weak showing against Cincinnati.

Evil Derek was in full display, throwing away four passes as well as, perhaps, a few million dollars and some picks in the 2008 draft. It's hard to imagine that yesterday's performance elevated his post-season value or would tempt the Tuna into giving up the top pick in the draft (eye-rolling).

Despite Anderson's re-enactment of his 2006 game against the Buccaneers, the Browns had a chance to win at the end, as weird as it sounds. As a result, we have to also point to contributing factors such as the team's inherent inability to stop the run.

This, in turn, was partially due to a thin defensive line and partially due to a disappearing act by the team's outside linebackers.

So let's take a moment from tarring and feathering Derek Anderson to ask: did Kamerion Wimbley even play yesterday? Willie McGinest? Antwan Peek? Chaun Thompson? I see their names in the gamebook, it's claimed that he had the only two quarterback hurries yesterday. I must have missed that. The Browns outside linebackers combined for zero solo tackles and three assists yesterday.

That's not pointed out much in today's wire, which focuses primarily on eviscerating Anderson and bemoaning the Browns inability to control their own destiny. There are 75 articles of this type since the end of yesterday's game.

Playoff Scenarios
Tennessean  Pro Football Weekly  Tribune-Chronicle  toledo blade  CBSSports  Official Site

Derek Anderson Slapfest
Cin Enquirer ABJ  Tribune-Chronicle  PD  Chronicle-Telegram  Yahoo!  Dispatch  DDN

Lots more depressing stuff on the wire. Merry Christmas!


THE OFFICIAL WORD: For what it's worth, here is the official playoff scenario from the NFL's media folks:

Tennessee clinches a playoff berth:
1) TEN win OR
2) TEN tie + CLE loss

Cleveland clinches a playoff berth:

1) TEN loss OR
2) CLE win or tie + TEN tie

CLINCHED
New England - AFC East Division and homefield advantage.
Indianapolis - AFC South Division and first-round bye.
San Diego - AFC West Division.
Pittsburgh -- AFC North Division.
Jacksonville -- playoff berth.

ELIMINATED: Miami, NY Jets, Kansas City, Oakland, Baltimore, Cincinnati, Houston, Buffalo, Denver.


OFF TO THE INJURED RESERVE LIST WITH YOU: In case you didn't catch this in Fred Greetham's report from Berea earlier this afternoon, the Browns have shuffled S Mike Adams and NT Ethan Kelley off to the injured reserve list, which is where they will finish their season.

Heartless bastards that we are, we summarily ripped both Adams and Kelley off the OBR active roster and tossed them onto the wasteland that is the Practice Squad / IR page. We took them off the depth chart as well, because life is too short, frankly, to waste it on people who can't even bother to keep themselves un-injured. That will show them.

 

OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE: It turns out that the blogosphere of Cleveland sports fans is less than happy with the way that the team gave away a game at Paul Brown Stadium yesterday.

Why Quinn Will Be THE GUY - Mike from Rochester

DA Trumps "Bad DA", Folds - John Taylor

Browns, Anderson, Shit the Bed In Cincy - Kid Cleveland

News-o-Rama: 12/23 - Webdork

Week 16 Recap - Cleveland Sports Authority

Browns, Anderson, Take a Dump in Cincy - MVN

A Call for Quinn to Start for Browns - Browns Gab

When It Counts, They Can't Stop the Run - Cleveland Sports Perspective

Dark Day - Cleveland Sports Torture

Christmas Present For All: Hughes Gone? - Disappointment Zone (Cavs)

Golden State 105, Cleveland 96 - Random Thoughts (Cavs)

Cavs Trade Rumors - Random Thoughts (Cavs)

ELSEWHERE ON THE PLANET: Apparently Alien vs. Predator 2 sucks. I'm not surprised, although I read the comic books and thought there was potential there. As soon as they handed the first one over to Paul W.S. Anderson, the franchise was screwed. He's not to be confused with Paul Thomas Anderson, who probably made the best movie of the year.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-Rama: 12/23

Posted: 23 Dec 2007 09:38 AM CST

We're on the other side of some family illnesses (flu, ra!) and this week's descent into the fifth level of hell.

For those of you who aren't aware of it, the fifth level of hell is Walmart after midnight several days before Christmas. Romero's Dawn of the Dead has nothing on a suburban Walmart with sleep-deprived shoppers engaging in the last-minute holiday push. I was one of them: "DVDs... brains... inexpensive products made by slave labor..."

It's time to switch from brain-sucking materialism to football. Which, of course, is also largely about brain-sucking and materialism, but that's the subject of another rant.

The Browns play the Bengals at 1PM today. Which you already know. But it makes the News-o-Rama more complete to say it. The important thing is that we'll be going apewire live-blogging and chatting before, during and after the game. Join us (don't cost nuthin).


BROWNS NEWS FROM
THE OBR NEWSWIRE (rss): First off, I refuse to link any lame-ass "my wishes for the holidays" columns. You know the ones... they've got sappy and not-really-funny things like "For Romeo Crennel: A well-deserved vacation and some meat loaf". I hate 'em. They suck. Also, there will be no linkage of not-quite-funny "My Lame-Ass Predictions for 2008" columns. I hate those, too. Come up with something new, people. We'll have them linked on the newswire, but the News-o-Rama will abstain. Thank you.

Mostly, this morning's newswire contains game recaps full of things we already know. Namely, there's a lot of talk about how the Browns can clinch, and how the Bengals and Browns seasons diverged in Week 2. For fans looking to catch up on current events, here are some links for these types of articles:

The OBR  DDN  Plain Dealer  Canton Rep  Morning Journal  News Journal  Chronicle-Telegram

Nothing against the many fine writers covering the Browns, but I'm tired of reading about the game. Let's get to it, eh? LET'S PLAY SOME FREAKING FOOTBALL!

There's more on the wire if you're more inclined to read than I am.

 

UNIFORM WEIRDNESS: Fashion designers Braylon Edwards and Kellen "Mr. K" Winslow have some thoughts about changing the Browns uniforms. My thoughts about that can be summed up with this word: "No". But I also got an email from "remiller" on the subject. He says "by league rules the uniforms must stay the same for five years after a change. Given that we are only two years into the change,we are not able to make further changes until after the 2010 season."

Interesting. I haven't confirmed this, and don't profess to be up on uniform rules, but if this is true it would clearly take us all down a couple of defcon levels.

 

OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE: We're going crazy with love for the Muni Lot. From the perspective of someone who has run web sites for years, I just adore the dump. Guys like John Taylor and myself can publish items quickly, and we can open it up for bloggers covering both the Browns and other Cleveland sports. The OBR front page will be our primary spot for hard-core and breaking Browns news, but the Muni Lot is where we're going to blog and say whatever is on our minds. We've got a lot of plans for it during the off-season: a redesigned front page for the Muni, further integration with the OBR home page, performance upgrades, new bloggers joining us, etc. Man, I'm looking forward to kicking that up a notch.

Anyhow, here's some of the latest blogs from the Muni Lot and other Cleveland sports blogs around the web:

Chud and 'The Rooney Rule' - John Taylor

Wizards in Winter - Cleveland Browns Stadium - tdc (Video)

Deja Vu All Over Again - Vinny and the Hornless Rhino

December 21, 2007 Show - Moohead (podcast)

Orpheus: Retirement, Restructure... Release? - John Taylor

Bring Back The Punt, Pass and Kick Library  - Vinny and the Hornless Rhino

Harkening heart - Ace Davis

Ranking the Quarterbacks....wait a second.... - Cleveland Sports Torture

Browns at Bengals Preview - Mistake by the Lake

Will there be a happy ending? - Red Right 88

LeBron gets win, Kobe gets accolades - Halftime Adjustments (Cavs)

Cavs-Lakers Random Thoughts (Cavs)

Ballin': Yup, LeBron Still > Kobe - The Big Lead (Cavs)


ELSEWHERE ON THE PLANET: I was passed this rather amazing set of restrictions that the NCAA set up for live blogging. Way to go, greedheads. The NFL hasn't done something like this, but if they figure out ways to make more money by monopolizing live blogging, I'm sure we'll get something equally ridiculous. In the meantime, today's live game blog is still a go!... I finally was able to get out to see No Country for Old Men this week, and will review it when/if I've got time to do so. It was brilliant in a lot of ways, but was sadly lacking in xenomorphic aliens and laser cannons, two requirements for movie greatness... I'm now only 152 emails behind. Progress!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-Rama: 12/20

Posted: 20 Dec 2007 08:42 AM CST

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Something special is starting to happen on the OBR's Muni Lot. Financially supported by the revs we take in via the OBR, the Muni Lot is 100% dedicated to fan views, uncensored, free of ads and kickbacks, and totally free for everyone. And it's growing fast as people find it.

On another topic, it's five days before Christmas and you know what that means. If you're me, it means it's time to start shopping. Oh crap oh crap oh crap.


OBR RADIO: 7-9PM TONIGHT ON SPORTSTALKCLEVELAND.COM

Join Jeff Schudel, Fred Greetham and myself from 7-9PM tonight on SportsTalkCleveland.com for the OBR radio program. I'm a dork, but Fred and Jeff bring over 50 years of experience reporting on the Cleveland Browns to bear each Thursday night.

Tune in tonight, call us at 866.453.4782, email us, or join the gang in the OBR chat room.

If you're sick of the same-old same-old from the mainstream media, I think you'll find the OBR radio program the most independent and accessible Cleveland Browns radio or TV program around.


BROWNS NEWS FROM THE
OBR NEWSWIRE (rss)

Today is a nice day on the newswire, because most of the stories fall into two handy categories: players who got (or didn't get) Pro Bowl invites and the start of prep for Cincinnati. This makes perfect sense, of course, because Wednesday was the first day reporters could talk to players who didn't get a Pro Bowl invite, and because the team starts installing their game plan fo the Bengals the same day.

While most of the newswire busies itself with those two topics, there are always those fun outliers like Kellen Winslow saying uniform changes are on the way (don't panic) or some overdue love for Joe Thomas. The PD relays an update on LeCharles Bentley.

Pro Bowl Love and Snubs

Tribune-Chronicle  Chronicle-Telegram  Morning Journal

Return to Bungleland

Tribune-Chronicle  Chronicle-Telegram  DDN  Columbus Dispatch  Morning Journal PD  ABJ

 

OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE

The best fan takes from the Muni Lot and elsewhere on the web...

Passing the bar - Ace Davis

The Berea Chronicles - John Taylor

OBR News-o-Rama: 12/19 - Biff Finkleman

December 19, 2007 Show - Moohead Radio (Podcast)

Let it Snow - tdc productions (Video)

New uniforms in 2008? - Robert's Rant

The Jamal Lewis Question - Cleveland Sports Authority

New York 108, Cleveland 90 - Random Thoughts (Cavs)

ESPN's Chris Mortensen Reports That ESPN's Chris Mortensen Is Just F--king Guessing - Kissy Suzy Kolber (Media)

Your NFL Announcing Schedule Week Sixteen - Awful Announcing (Media)

 

ELSEWHERE ON THE WEB

I pretty much kvetched about everything I wanted to kvetch about last night. I'm done for now, other than to say that I hear that the Steelers are playing football tonight on a channel I don't get. Go Rams.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-Rama: 12/19

Posted: 19 Dec 2007 07:16 PM CST

Alright, so it's an evening edition rather than a morning edition. Frankly, the News-o-Rama was scared to be next to a John Taylor post in the Muni Lot, so I had to wait for a tdc video to show up and build a buffer zone. Taylor's posts tend to throw elbows.

BROWNS NEWS VIA THE OBR NEWSWIRE (rss)

After drowning fans in words following the team's 8-0 victory over Buffalo, the newswire took a breather today, with only a couple dozen stories appearing on the Known Universe's only 24-hour Browns newswire.

The team practiced today, which means there was time with head coach Romeo Crennel as well as some time to talk to players in the locker room. Fred Greetham reported on the day's events earlier today, as did the team's Official Site. Here's some more of the good stuff to be found linked today:

Last recorded Browns Pro Bowler Jamir Miller quietly puts away the bottle of champagne, sniffs sadly to himself, and gets a sympathetic call from the 1972 Miami Dolphins. (News-Herald)

The Pittsburgh Steelers are beaten up and reeling. Rams = slumpbusters (Pitt Tribune-Review)

Just beat the Bengals and everything's cool. (ABJ)

This week's first "Bungle" reference. Steve Doerschuck, your Rantatorium invite in the mail (Canton Rep)

Are the Steelers coming apart? (Actual article title) (St Louis Post-Dispatch)


LATEST FROM THE OBR

Linemen Not Alternates to Browns - Fred Greetham

Browns 8, Bills 0: Joe's Game Review - Joe Brownlee

Scout.com NFL Power Rankings - Tom Marino

Browns-Bills: Report Card - Scout.com

Bogus Deal; Thomas Not Named Pro Bowl Starter - Lane Adkins

Best Available Free Agents: Defense - Adam Caplan

Cribbs, Edwards named to Pro Bowl - Site Staff

Passan: Sunday's Unsung Hero - Rich Passan


OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE

The blogosphere got a bit more intense yesterday as the OBR's John Taylor began ravishing the Muni Lot. Hide the women and children. Lots of great stuff out there on the Muni Lot and elsewhere today:

tdc video: Let it Snow - Nonee

This 'N That - 12/19/07 - John Taylor

Snub Alert! Where are the rest of the Browns? - Kid Cleveland

This 'N That - 12/18/07 - John Taylor

Cribbs, Edwards Hawaii-Bound; Winslow, Steinbach Bent Over - John Taylor

Pro Bowl results - Mark Leonard

OBR News-o-Rama: 12/18 - News-o-dork

Edwards and Cribbs: On to Hawaii - First and Ten Inches

Browns Playoff Odds Report: 93% - Disappointment Zone

Offended by silliness - Dwayne Rudd's Helmet

A Long Time Coming... - Bitterfans

Crock & Roll Hall of Fame - Don and Tony Show (Cleveland)

Cavs scramble for 2OT win - Halftime Adjustments (Cavs)

Michigan spreads it out - J-Beanie (NCAA)

ESPN Continues To Suck The Boston Teet - Cleveland Sports Animal (Media)

 

OTHER THINGS I FEEL LIKE KVETCHING ABOUT

TUNA MELT: Awwwww.... someone wants attention! Look, he's going to Atlanta. No, he's not! Now he's going to Miami!! Maybe. Just lookit his sad little eyes. That's so cute. As long as it's far away.

MUST BE RATINGS WEEK: The very narrow line between the attention-whoring Dallas Cowboys football franchise and bad television soap opera just got a little thinner, thanks to Terrell Owens. Of course, the mainstream sports media will dive on that like it's raw meat. Really, it's just matter of time before ABC and NFL conspire on a cross-over episode of Desperate Housewives where Eva Longoria and Marcia Cross fight over Wade Phillips while Tony Romo gives Teri Hatcher a foot massage.

LEGISLATIVE SLAP-A-THON: Not too long ago, NFL Commish Roger Goodell sounded like he was begging for Washington to intervene in Greed-Off 2007, the epic battle of fan-screwing being waged by the NFL's in-house tame TV network and cable monopolies. Well, he may get that, just not the way he intended. Check this out: "Now that the NFL is adopting strategies to limit distribution of game programming to their own networks. Congress may need to reexamine the need and desirability of their continued exemption from the Nation's antitrust laws". Whoa.

EMAIL FUTILITY COUNT: Now 196 emails behind. I will catch up! (Eventually) (Perhaps)

LIES, DAMNED LIES, AND FREE AGENT LISTINGS: A couple of "free agent lists" have popped up on the web, and they're filled to the brim with inaccuracies. Scout team experts who have looked at them tell us that there are a ton of errors. There are simple reasons for that. This time of year, it's impossible to get a truly accurate free agent list because a number of players will become free agents (or not) based on incentives they achieve each year, and because some contract adjustments may have been made and not publicized. The official lists usually don't appear until around the time of the Senior Bowl. We're working on our listings but keep sweating about that whole "accuracy" thing.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE: There's actually a teaser for the joke-in-the-industry mega-delayed sequel to Duke Nukem. Man, I loved that game. Apparently, there's finally going to be a sequel called Duke Nukem Forever. Life is complete.