OBR News-o-rama

Pink Slip-o-Rama Posted: 30 Dec 2007 11:50 AM CST Would you like a career in the exciting, fast-paced world of professional football? Sure, we all would! It's a job that doesn't require a fancy degree or well-polished resume, but it does require the ability to endure public humiliation when you inevitably stumble. The NFL Rich Owner's Club is full of folks whose long-term memories are surgically removed via high-tech lasers as soon as they obtain (or inherit) their clubs. If there's one thing they love to do, it's hire. And fire. And hire. And fire. And hire, hire, hire, and fire, fire, fire. This week is firin' week. The last Sunday of football hasn't even kicked off, and the bloodletting has already begun. The list of the doomed is growing longer by the hour and now appears to include the following: Mike Martz, Detroit Lions offensive coordinator, looks to be out in Detroit, with the attendant humiliation. The one-time head coach of Greatest Show on Turf will now be replaced by a guy named "Kippy". San Francisco head coach Mike Nolan, whose team is now stretching in front of me on the field at Cleveland Browns Stadium, will probably have to dump his entire offensive coaching staff and replace Alex Smith with a QB who doesn't suck in order to keep his job. Jason Kline, Mansfield News-Journal columnist, will likely be hounded out of any future sports coverage opportunities to having the unmitigated gall to mention the OBR in his column today. Fool!  The Tuna is calling the shots down in Miami, which means that everyone is now allowed to poke fun at Cam Cameron and they don't have to return his phone calls. The only way he could get less respect now is to become a blogger or, worse, the chunky niche publisher of an independent pro football web site.   Rich McKay: Doomed. Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed. Doomed. Totally doomed. More tales of doom and public humliation to arrive shortly.

12/29 Non-News-o-Rama Posted: 29 Dec 2007 03:06 PM CST So, within the next 36 hours, we find out if the Patriots will go undefeated, if the Browns can go 10-6, and if they make it into the playoffs. Too bad the NFL season peters out so early for us Browns fans. A mere 17 weeks. Meh. That's exciting, but the stories which you can find on the planet's only hand-selected 24-hour newswire can't really match up. There's some good stuff there, and it's my task to help you find it. So I will. Here's the stuff I enjoyed digging out of a Saturday newswire: Robaire Smith has cure for Allenitis (ABJ) Larry Allen is not the sort of fellow you want to spend your Sunday sparring with. He's the type of guy you would like in different time zone from whichever one you're in. You want him far away. As far as possible. Oddly, though, Robaire Smith is fighting for the chance to practice and play against the "legalized killer" in a meaningless game. Which tells you what you need to know about Robaire Smith. He's either very determined or completely brain-addled. Based on my knowledge of professional football players, I'm guessing it's a bit of both. Banged, bruised and just maybe bound for playoffs (Morning Journal) Antwan Peek is in sort of a different camp. Normally, he would be pushing to play in this game, but with a possible playoff berth looming, it may make sense for him to sit out. Like Smith, he wants to be on the field Sunday. Unbeaten Browns (Canton Repository) Another great Browns team, the 14-0 1948 Browns, are largely forgotten because the game was named "Championship" and not "Super Bowl". Only the NFL discards it's history so mindlessly. And Steve Belichick was right. Lewis is in team's plan for 2008, source says (Plain Dealer) A non-story, frankly. The question isn't whether the Browns "intend to bring" the running back to Cleveland, but whether he will be affordable. As I confidently predicted in a column I'll never discuss again when it's wrong, whether or not Lewis returns will be based on price and length of contract, which will be based on what other insane NFL clubs decide to do. Hope of a hometown discount began evaporating when Lewis began deferring to his agent, which John Taylor reported a week-and-a-half ago. Click here to bask in the constant stream of news provided only by the sickeningly thorough newswire rss feed. We've acquired a number of imitators since 1999, but none of them have a newswire like ours. We're pretty much obsessed with updating the thing. It's sort of sad and pathetic, really.   OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE: The key item, which reverberated around the blogosphere like a nova... no, a supernova... no... a superdupernova... was the return of the infamous Dawghouse blog. MikeB and Ace Davis were the first two Browns bloggers on the internets, starting waaaaay back when. It's good to have MikeB back in da house. Week 17 - Dawghouse Blog Week 17 Predictions - WhatzGonnaHappen December 28, 2007 Show - Moohead Radio An anniversary ignored? - Mark Leonard Future Forecast Of The Browns - Cleveland Sports Authority A Few Guys You'll Need To Know - First and Ten Inches An agonizing wait - Red Right 88 Browns … Once a Dynasty - Browns Gab Worst of sports media: The runners up - Sports Media Watch PROFESSIONAL SPORTSCASTING AT ITS FINEST Thank you, ESPN, for giving us the wonderous gift that is Emmitt Smith. This guy is as bad as me on the OBR Radio program, and I don't get paid. I would propose to Emmitt that we split his money and both mangle the English language with aplomb. The past-tense of aplomb is aplombed. Or aplew. Or aplewed.

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