Friday, June 6, 2008

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

Decision Time on Bentley: Monday

Posted: 06 Jun 2008 09:43 AM CDT

If you give the Cleveland Browns a few million dollars, it's amazing the interviews you can get. For example, WTAM, the team's official broadcast partner and OBR photo recycler, gets to talk to Browns GM Phil Savage every Thursday morning.

Yesterday, Savage appeared on the Wills and Synder radio program for about five minutes, half of which was spent pimping ticket plans and corporate charity events that I'm too poor to attend.

In any event, during the interview, Savage did say something of news value regarding LeCharles Bentley.

The Browns and Savage continue to downplay the return of one-time free agent savior LeCharles Bentley. In our view, that's the wise thing to do, since it will be so difficult for Bentley to make a comeback on his repaired knee.

When asked about Bentley's return, Savage talked about how important it was for the Browns to ensure that they and Bentley are "protected". This was to be done by making sure the player was truly fit to play before he stepped onto the field. Savage said that the physical will take place on Monday, which the point where the decision will be made. The team starts practicing on Tuesday morning.

The team has been low-key about a Bentley return ever since he was hauled off the field with a patellar tear in August 2006.

Savage also said that the Browns "have been told" that Kellen Winslow would be at camp but that the team "isn't sure at what level he will participate", since Winslow hasn't gotten a physical done by the team.

The Browns GM also continued to speak glowingly of Brady Quinn, and compared him to other quarterbacks who came into his own in their third season. Interestingly, next year will be Quinn's third year, and current starting QB Derek Anderson has a huge roster bonus due somewhere around 3/15/2009.

Message Board Troll Owes Browns $18,000

Posted: 05 Jun 2008 11:01 PM CDT

Some things you can understand only if you spend waaaaay too much time on the Internet.

Back in 2006, there were rumors going around that terrorists were going to strike at a number of NFL stadiums, including Cleveland, in a coordinated "dirty bomb" attack. It didn't take long to discount the rumors, and most of us went on with our plans to attend the game, which was against the Denver Broncos.

It turns out the most dangerous thing one display during that game was Mo Carthon's offensive game plan, which mustered only seven points. The Browns offensive coordinator "resigned" soon thereafter.

The terrorist hoax was largely forgotten until reports came across the wire earlier today that a man in Wisconsin had gotten six months in federal prison for creating the rumors and spreading them on an internet message board.

Thanks to the scarce nature of Browns news this time of year, I intended to blog about this as soon as I heard of it. Based on what I knew, I prepared myself compose a post which made liberal use of the phrase "moonbat" and pondered the weirdness of a culture where causing a public disturbance equates to celebrity status.

I put that blog post on hold when I read a much more detailed account of the sentencing in an out-of-town paper.

Something important was buried in the article, but people who don't spend a lot of time on the net will never realize it: Turns out that the guy posting the bomb threat was doing it on 4chan.

Why is this important? Basically, most people who have been on the 'net for any period of time know that one of the primary purposes of 4chan is to troll, shock, and offend.

Unlike the OBR forums, where users have to register and post under a particular username, 4chan is structured for nearly complete anonymity, and much of the communication between members occurs through doctored photos. This allows people to indulge in what one hopes is their absolutely worst behavior, letting their inner id shine forth without constraint.

Out of the bubbling cauldron of offensiveness and strangeness which results, some internet "memes" have emerged which have spread over into the general consciousness. The "LOLCats" and "Fail" memes of photos with text seem to have originated on 4chan, and a group on the forum called "Anonymous" has made news because of its campaign against Scientology.

Of course, the group is called "Anonymous" because it would be impossible to call it anything else. Just about anyone there posts anonymously.

Anyone with knowledge of 4chan realizes it's ridiculous to take anything at face value there.

Putting something on 4chan to communicate urgent information would be like trying to interview for a job by dressing yourself in a Goofy costume and then lighting yourself on fire.

Of course, the nitwit didn't help himself by posting it ten times a week for four weeks.

What I'm guessing happened next is that someone saw the posts on 4chan and then reposted them on sites where things are taken seriously.

Apparently, the people who then read them didn't have any context for the messages, and things spiraled out of control.

The man who started the rumors apparently still thought it was a joke as the police cars rolled up and officers came to talk to him. He was declaring it an "epic win" before he realized that the authorities didn't find it funny at all.

So, the dope who trolled 4chan with the terrorist hoax is being sentenced to six months in federal prison. Not only that, but the ex-grocery store clerk now has to repay the cash-loaded Cleveland Browns - whose franchise is worth close to a billion dollars, supposedly - a settlement of $18,000 for the extra costs involved in security.

Wow. 

The internet is sort of the Bounty Paper Towel of stupidity. It can soak up a lot of it.

Still, this incident shows that there are some things so amazingly dumb even the internet can't contain them.

If I were the Browns, though, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that $18,000 check to arrive.

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