Monday, January 14, 2008

OBR News-o-rama

OBR News-o-rama

Grab Yer Plungers!

Posted: 14 Jan 2008 11:12 AM CST

The Cleveland Browns have announced their Third Annual Country Music and Sewage Festival will be held on May 24th at Cleveland Browns Stadium. Kenny Chesney will once again be the featured act.

Chesney was the performer at the team's Second Annual Country Music and Sewage Festival last year, when visitors were regaled with down-home country music and about a half-foot of backed-up plumbing.

Cleveland Browns Stadium's inaugural Country Music and Sewage Festival was held back in 2000, when George Strait and a mere two inches of sewage backup were the star performers.

Last year's encore performance of toilet water was later blamed, in an elaborately staged cover-up, on device referred to, without giggling, as a "flush-o-meter". This is clearly a made-up word meant to confuse the general public, as the the diagram of a toilet flushing apparatus on the left shows.

Fans are asked to bring plungers and bags of fried pork rinds, which they can forcibly propel down the stadium's toilets immediately prior to the show. With luck, the event could yield even more backed up water than last year's event, itself the largest celebration of raw sewage outside of the city limits of Pittsburgh in recent memory.

Tickets will probably be available via Tickermaster or some other organization which will charge $10 per ticket in "handling fees".

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